RE: Jerrod’s Best Week Ever

November 13, 2008

And, last time I checked, he is still a 2009 Cowboys season ticket holder. So, you know, scoreboard.


Happy 100!!

November 6, 2008

For my 100th post, I’d like to give the Homers faithful a still shot from a webcam above Steve’s desk…Here’s to 100 more or at least until the FCC shuts us down…

Funny Pictures


Who’s Getting Run Out of Philly Today?

September 16, 2008

The best part about beating the Eagles is the turmoil and self-doubt that explodes in Philadelphia in the following few days. Each loss to Dallas brings the predictable deluge of commentary on which Eagle’s player is finished and which backups need to be brought to the forefront. In recent years, Donovan McNabb has taken the brunt of this ridiculous knee-jerking, with fans calling for the likes of Jeff Garcia, Mike McMahon and Kevin Kolb. However, it seems after last night that Brian Dawkins is the new scapegoat in Philly. Brian Dawkins. One of the most athletic, hard-hitting and fearless safeties in the NFL.

This is why you get no respect, Philly fans. All it takes is one unfortunate twist of fate and you’re willing to run your most ubiquitious players out of town. You’re idiots. You don’t understand anything about football beyond what your neanderthal brains can scrape from the surface. You’d be better off focusing your guido energies on spray tan, Jager bombs and the Jersey shore. You’re the awkward smelling grease stain on the carpet of the NFL.


Give Me A Fuggin’ Break…

September 10, 2008

As if there weren’t a million reasons to laugh at hippies already, here’s one more.


Another Day…

June 27, 2008

…another Fortune 500 company relocating to Dallas. Have I mentioned that Dallas is better than your city?


Another Thing Texans Are Better Than You At

June 27, 2008

Another list, another round of domination for Texas. This time Forbes ranked the best cities for recent college graduates (which pretty much means the best cities for twentysomethings). Here’s your top three: Houston, Dallas, Austin. I mean, I don’t want to say that we’re better than your state at everything, but well, I guess that’s what I’m saying.


W.T.F. P.E.T.A?

June 24, 2008

Came across this story today on ESPN.com…and I guess I’m not really surprised anymore, but it’s led me to start my own organization in protest of PETA.  SPFF…”Shoot Pigeons For Fun”…I will now carry a Red Rider BB gun in my car at all times and be ready to bust a cap in any pigeon’s ass that ever sh!ts on my car or crosses my path! Those who wish to join, just leave a comment and you’ll receive your membership card in 6-8 weeks along with our free gifts of a headdress made of pigeon feathers and a giant foam hand “shooting the bird” with PETA inscribed on the palm.


Thoughts On Tiger

June 19, 2008

Well, everyone has chimed in by now or had a thought towards Tiger’s latest Major victory and subsequent knee surgery…now it’s my turn. Tiger is simply the best golfer IN HISTORY to date. He still trails Nicklaus in Major victories, but even as it stands, Tiger would beat the Greats of Old head to head. He’s also transcendeding the sport in itself. Just look at the ratings and revenues at tournaments he’s NOT playing. Forbes just released their Most Powerful Entertainers, Celebrities, and Athletes. He’s #2…behind Oprah. Damn. Love him. Hate him. Love to hate him. Tiger is golf. 


Religion, Sports, and Me - V.2

June 12, 2008

Steve provoked an interesting subject to me in his last post.  It seems to me that “God’s” name is thrown around a lot nowadays by athletes, celebrities and the like that seemingly want to thank Him for the game-winning shot, a series ending homerun, a world championship, a new fashion line, or a movie premiere.  Now, it’s not my place to judge the eternity in which these people, or any people for that matter, will spend…but as a Christian-Texan-American-Republican, I do have the freedom  (a freedom which I do not take lightly) to give my opinion on the matter.

I do NOT begrudge anyone the same free will I share to choose whom they shall call God.  If that’s Allah, or Buddha, or Joseph Smith, that’s your choice to enjoy hotel Hell for the rest of eternity.  I don’t even mind listening to those who wish to share their faith, as long as they give me the same opportunity to share mine.  I also share the same feelings Steve has about Religion in many ways.  I believe there is a difference between criticism and persecution.  Roy Williams is not persecuted for sucking at coverage in the 2 deep zone…he’s criticized for it (and rightfully so!).  And as bad as the “persecution” may get for number 31, it’s unfathomable for me to understand the coorelation between that and the realistic persecution Christ faced that eventually led to His death.  But again, to each his own.  Where I will disagree with Steve, is I do believe God desires a very personal relationship with us that allows us to lift up anything and everything in prayer.  I will pray for my son to learn how to use the toilet instead of crapping his pants, and in the next breath, pray for comfort for a family who just lost a child.  That’s what I love about God.  I can talk to Him as a friend, much as I do with Steve…God just knows more and gives better advice. Steve, I also prayed for my house to be sold and for us to have a successful garage sale in the last 3 weeks, so that better not have been a personal shot…you know my punching power…i’ll come to your cube and knock you out!  But I digress…I enjoy cold beer.  Will let a foul word slip.  Bought a car once without my wife knowing. Like competition in D-League softball more than I should.  Watch horror movies.  And sin daily.  I gave up trying to be perfect a long time ago.  That is why the world needed a savior. That’s why I love God.  He saved me. Not Religion. That’s my soapbox. And yes, Jesus Christ CAN hit a curveball!


Further Proof That Soccer Sucks

May 22, 2008

Apparently the biggest soccer game in the world took place a couple days ago in Moscow.

From what I can tell, AIG beat Samsung in a shootout. I still stand by my assertion that the better match-up would have been Fidelity versus Wal-Mart or Rice-a-Roni versus Dominos Pizza.

Seriously, what’s the deal with the jerseys? Do the Euros model their soccer leagues after NASCAR? The WNBA doesn’t even resort to this kind of money-grubbing and they haven’t turned a profit in 12 years of existence.


How Do You Make A Rangers Game Watchable?

May 9, 2008

Throw in one of these. Apparently someone forgot to set out a fresh box of tampons for Richie Sexson before the game.


Re: One and One-Third Innings Of Pure Annihilation

April 18, 2008

Oh it can and WILL be done…I wonder if the ump has ever mercy ruled a team before they even got a chance to bat…cuz that’s what is gonna happen!


RE: Wombat Rapist on the Loose

March 28, 2008

That story also contains a great nominee for the most obvious statement ever written in a news story.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

Ya think?!


Wombat Rapist on the Loose…

March 28, 2008

Bizarre.  Just Bizarre.  I think this happened to Josh once, except with a chinchila.


RE: Shocking

February 15, 2008

Steve, is this your submission for Friday Fun?


For My Beloved Jayhawk Brother

February 12, 2008

Dear Mark,

A certain famous Texan wanted me to pass this message along to you. I’m sure our sister shares the same sentiments. 72-69. Ain’t it great?

At least you’ve got that beautiful weather to boost your spirits.

Love,

Me


RE: Friday Fun: Pongmaster

February 8, 2008

I believe they prefer the term Orientals, you racist jerk.


We All Make Mistakes, Right?

February 5, 2008

It’s just that most of us don’t have a blog that saves those mistakes to be viewed and made fun of later. Jerrod, would you like a do-over on this story about Eli Manning after the Cowboys beat the Giants earlier in the season? I’m giving you an opportunity to distance.

I, on the other hand, still think Eli Manning is a pouty, sniveling, whining girl who caught lightning in a bottle this post season and will go down in NFL history much like that Baltimore quarterback who won a Super Bowl that nobody remembers…


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

February 4, 2008

How many refunds is Amazon issuing today due to advance orders for this?


RE: More Hippie Nonsense

February 4, 2008

Is there any way that we can start a petition to just give California to Iran? I’d rather let them have the headache…