It’s been a pretty good week for ol’ Jerrod. On Tuesday, his Cowboys vs. Major League post was picked up by Sports Illustrated’s Hot Clicks page (second item down). In 24 hours, that link brought more than 7000 readers to Homers, completely shattering any and all traffic records we previously had.
Keep up the good work, holmes.
No Comments » | 
Cool Stuff, Cowboys, MLB, NFL, Steve | 
Permalink
Posted by Steve
The 08-09 Dallas Mavericks got their season started last night with about as much veracity as a limp dick. Despite hanging in for a good three quarters, the Mavs fell apart in the fourth to fall 112-102 to the Houston Rockets. Offensively, the team looked good. Dirk poured in 36, Howard had 28 and Kidd finished with 12 assists. They ran the floor well like Rick Carlisle said they would, though that dropped off quite a bit whenever the incredibly sub-par bench got involved.
What was noticeably absent all game was any sort of defensive presence. This is a Houston team that scored a grand total of 82 points a couple of nights ago against Memphis. MEMPHIS!! However, the Mavs managed to go out and make Yao Ming (30 points, 13 boards) look like Hakeen Olajuwon in his prime, and they let Ron Artest (29 points, 7 boards) run roughshot all over the court for the entire game. Better yet, Tracy McGrady didn’t even play in the fourth quarter and the Rockets still outscored the Mavs by 11 to clinch the victory.
Which brings me to main point: Why is the concept of defense so foreign to all of our local sports teams? The Cowboys suit up a defensive unit stacked with number one draft picks and high-priced free agents, yet they can make the Rams offense, arguably the worst in football, look reminiscent of the Greatest Show on Turf. Through eight games, they’ve managed to intercept two passes. The Stars, who are currently sitting at 4-4-2, have allowed a league worst 40 goals through 10 games. Everytime Marty Turco looks up, three members of the opposing team are bearing down on him as Sean Avery jerks it to a picture of himself. The 2008 version of the Texas Rangers managed to commit more errors and have a lower fielding percentage than every other team in the Major Leagues.
What ever happened to the credo that defense wins championships? Is that just something that coaches tell you during high school basketball practice so that the two kids with talent won’t dominate all of practice with their shooting skills? Or has the glitz-and-glam image of life and sports in Dallas gotten so pervasive that our athletes feel like they don’t need to do any of the “grunt” work?
Whatever the root cause is somebody needs to pull an Oscar Rogers and FIX IT!
You take it one step at a time:
1. Identify the problem. FIX IT!
2. Identify another problem. FIX IT!
3. Repeat as necessary until it’s all FIXED!
2 Comments | 
Cowboys, MLB, Mavs, NBA, NFL, NHL, Rangers, Stars, Steve | 
Permalink
Posted by Steve
After almost half a season of nothing but stellar on-the-field production, Milton Bradley finally let his true colors shine through in Kansas City. Apparently, Bradley didn’t take too kindly to criticisms directed his way by Royals television announcer Ryan Lefebvre. I’m just disappointed that he didn’t make it into the booth with Lefebvre. I lived in K.C. for two years and I can tell you that dude sucks. What kind of suspension would Bradley have received for choking out an announcer?
No Comments » | 
MLB, Rangers, Steve | 
Permalink
Posted by Steve
No, it’s not the seventh inning stretch. It’s not the taste of cold beer and a hot plate of extra cheesey nachos. It’s not even watching the game from the luxury of a fully catered suite. It’s this story about one of the best players on the planet. Sure, this is only his first full year playing in the major leagues, but I challenge you to find a better player on any team, any where. And I won’t ask you to waste your time looking for a better story. Because there isn’t one.
1 Comment | Josh, MLB, News, Rangers | Permalink
Posted by Josh
Throw in one of these. Apparently someone forgot to set out a fresh box of tampons for Richie Sexson before the game.
1 Comment | MLB, Rangers, Smack Talk, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
It appears that Roger Clemens might be one of the pervs driving traffic to our site. It seems that he too has a taste for 15-year-olds. Apparently, Clemens began an extra-marital affair with country-singer Mindy McCready when she was only 15 and he was 28.
Is there any hope for mankind?
No Comments » | Entertainment, MLB, News, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
Awesome.
No Comments » | Entertainment, MLB, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
Thank you Dallas Stars. Thank you for giving this city a glimmer of hope again. By winning your first opening round playoff series since 2003, you’ve given Dallas fans a reprieve from the post-season mediocrity that has consumed our local sports teams as of late.
I have to be honest. I didn’t think that this game was going to go the Stars way. After going into the second intermission behind 1-0, I figured this game was going to play out like the rest of the games involving local teams this weekend.
The Rangers, in classic Texas fashion, blew two games to the Red Sox in which they had the lead in the late innings. Hell, today the Rangers were up 5-2 with two outs in the eighth and they managed to piss it away, including C.J. Wilson walking in the game winning run.
Yesterday, the Mavericks were up by 12 on the Hornets at halftime in their first playoff game of the year. They proceeded to get outscored by 24 points in the second half, while making Chris Paul look like the second coming of Isiah Thomas (player Isiah, not coach Isiah).
So forgive me for assuming that this game was just going to fall right into place in the single-file line of Dallas sports let downs. You guys came out and dominated the third period. You scored four unanswered goals by capitalizing on all of Anaheim’s careless mistakes. The best goal being Mike Modano’s empty-netter with three seconds left to put the icing on the cake.
So, once again, let me be the first to say thanks. We really needed this.
1 Comment | MLB, Mavs, Rangers, Stars, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
I have waited a long time to have a day like the Dallas sports teams has yesterday. Steve has probably waited even longer than I have. But, we finally got it. Not only did the Mavericks beat a really good team with a clutch Dirk shot at the end of the game to solidify their berth in the NBA playoffs, and not only did the Stars whip up on the defending Stanley Cup champs 4-0 in their playoff series opener - in Anaheim - but the Rangers also swept a double header against a team that kicked their butts on opening day to climb to above .500 for the first time in years.
Did I mention that it was also the opening round of the Masters yesterday? My sports pants are going so crazy they just hit me over the head with my keyboard, pulled the fire alarm at my office, sexually assaulted our 67 year old male security guard - twice - and then jumped on a flight to Bangladesh to grab some Indian food.
Can life get any better if you are a Dallas sports fan? Only time will tell…
No Comments » | Golf, Josh, MLB, Mavs, NBA, NHL, News, Rangers, Stars | Permalink
Posted by Josh
You left out the best detail. The girl’s name is Alexa Rodriguez. Or what some would call A-Rod for short.
These things didn’t just happen by accident. The baseball Gods are always at work. Especially in Boston, where no one is hated more than A-Rod.
I thought birdies only applied in golf…apparently not. At historic Fenway Park, a disgruntled hawk took out its frustration on an innocent bystander, during a game after some maintenance staff cleared its nest earlier. All I know is that if the girl had been Steve (which isn’t a far off thought), and the hawk had swooped in on him, made him drop his Bud heavy, that thing would be battered, deep-fried, and put on a stick to eat at the 7th inning stretch!
No Comments » | Entertainment, Jerrod, MLB | Permalink
Posted by Jerrod
My new favorite player, Josh Hamilton, dropped a bomb against some Putz in the 9th inning of the Rangers v. Mariners game last night to put Texas ahead 5-4.
On another note, I’ve vowed to the Homers staff not to order another $10, 2 ft. high margarita at next week’s home opener. I’m such an embarrassment….Head. In hands. Crying….
No Comments » | Jerrod, MLB, Rangers | Permalink
Posted by Jerrod
No, not for Steve’s period, but for me to catch everyone up on the wit and wisdom absent from this blog, due to the fact that I don’t sit at a cube and surf Youtube all day while at work like the other two contributors. Without further adieu…
Pop-Culture:
So, one Spears girl has gone completely psycho, and the younger is now pregnant…any chance K-fed had anything to do with the latter? Or the prior for that matter? And maybe mommy and daddy should be a little more involved instead of counting and spending their childrens’ earnings… And Britney, please start wearing underwear before there’s a new disease named after you…that is, if there’s not already. And someone reach out to this family and teach them all about birth control before more lives are ruined!
Mavs:
I believe in the Jason Kidd trade. I don’t believe in Stackhouse. Or Devean George. Or DIRK. I still wish Cuban would’ve found a way to get Kobe at the beginning of the year in a swap for Dirk. Right now, I’m even a little concerned the Mavs won’t even make the playoffs.
Romo needs to drop Jessica and get back with Underwood. Carrie will at least be traveling with a successful singing career and probably not be able to make a lot of games.
We need to trade both number one picks for Larry Fitzgerald (WR Cardinals) whom has recently said he would love to play in Dallas.
Actually can’t wait for the season to start. Not because of the actual team, but because of my seats at the games and dollar hotdogs!
I think they are doing well. I hate hockey though and don’t really care. Hockey belongs in Canada. Or at least in Minnesota where all the other toothless wonders live.
Politics:
I vote for Chuck Lidell. We need an ass kicker in office. Plus he wears a mohawk. That’s just awesome!
2 Comments | Cowboys, Entertainment, Jerrod, MLB, Mavs, NBA, NHL, Politics, Rangers, Stars | Permalink
Posted by Jerrod
Thanks to Snackbar for pointing us to this uber-gay video of another Los Angeles team making complete fools out of themselves. Was there something about the ’80s that made sports teams agree to do any type of video without thinking of the consequences?
No Comments » | Entertainment, MLB, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
I was watching the 10 p.m. news last night when they ran a story about second baseman Ian Kinsler signing a new deal with the Texas Rangers. As they were showing Kinsler highlights during the story, a weird sensation came over me. A thought popped into my head, “Man, I can’t wait for baseball season to start again!”
It’s weird because I think that’s the first time that thought has ever crossed my mind. Then I thought back to last year, which was an abysmal year for the Rangers, but a great year for me personally. I probably attended 15 to 20 games last year, most of those with Josh and Jerrod. I think I’m more eager to get back out to the Ballpark than anything else. No matter how bad the Rangers are, going to the Ballpark is always a great time. Whether it’s standing in the left field bleachers on a 100 degree day trying to snag batting practice home-runs while staring directly into the sun or yelling obscenities at Manny Ramirez from our seats along the third base side, there’s nothing quite like being at the Ballpark in Arlington.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for marketing, or maybe it’s just that I’m so exhausted from having my heart ripped out by the teams I live and die with (Cowboys and Mavs), but I really think I’m in need of some baseball.
2 Comments | MLB, Rangers, Steve | Permalink
Posted by Steve
Okay, so we’re not the first Dallas blog to mention this - our quick-fingered friends over on Frontburner beat me to the punch (take that to mean what you will, Mr. Celeste) - but the Rangers just scored more times in one game than Dirk Diggler did in his entire “acting”career. That’s right, the Rangers scored 30 runs in beating the Orioles tonight. 30 freaking runs - a blogger with less aptitude for wordsmithing would insert a football score joke here.
Two grand slams in one game and a 9 run 6th inning followed minutes later by a 10 run 8th. Impressive? Yes. But are the Rangers still 432 games out of first place? Well, now that you mention it, yes. But, come on. Seriously? 30 runs? Unfortunately, that’s still less than the combined ERA of their bullpen, but still, hats off to the boys at the Ballpark. Good on ya, mates…
No Comments » | Josh, MLB | Permalink
Posted by Josh
I’ll give our boy Mark a little love - especially because I really enjoyed this little diddy. I figured I could just link to YouTube, but why do that when we can get the pageviews? Enjoy him, Atlanta. Just don’t let him talk in the locker room… at all… seriously…
1 Comment | Entertainment, Josh, MLB | Permalink
Posted by Josh
