Homers On The Range

While I’m always the first to brag about how fast the DFW area is growing, let me also be the first to point out the shortcomings of said growth. This rapid expansion of the North Texas population has led to a huge influx in the number of transplants from such bastions of detestability as California, New York, Massachusetts and the rest of the pretentious, “can’t afford to live there” states. Most of these people have taken up residence in the ever-expanding suburbs and exburbs surrounding our fair burgh.

And now their influence is starting to be felt. Jim Greenwood, a Frisco resident, was recently told by his homeowners association that he can’t park his 2007 Ford 150 in his driveway because it isn’t what they consider to be a “luxury” automobile. Mr. Greenwood faces fines for everyday he leaves the truck out in the driveway. A spokesperson from the HOA said the policy has been in place since 1989, and that if Mr. Greenwood didn’t like the policy then he could move.

This guy is in trouble for parking his pickup truck in his own driveway. In Texas.

Now I never thought I’d live to see myself write such a phrase, but I’m putting the blame for this squarely on the shoulders of the uppity yankee bastards that have flooded our towns like gulf water into the Ninth Ward. True native Texans would never fathom instituting such an asinine policy. And true natives of this area would know better than to say that such a policy has been in place since 1989. In 1989, Frisco was nothing but dirt and whorehouses. The gated communities didn’t start appearing until around 2000.

If the Beverly Hills contingent doesn’t want you in Frisco, Mr. Greenwood, we’d be glad to have you in Wylie where a little southern hospitality is still alive and well.