Further Proof That Soccer Sucks

Apparently the biggest soccer game in the world took place a couple days ago in Moscow.

From what I can tell, AIG beat Samsung in a shootout. I still stand by my assertion that the better match-up would have been Fidelity versus Wal-Mart or Rice-a-Roni versus Dominos Pizza.

Seriously, what’s the deal with the jerseys? Do the Euros model their soccer leagues after NASCAR? The WNBA doesn’t even resort to this kind of money-grubbing and they haven’t turned a profit in 12 years of existence.

75 Responses to “Further Proof That Soccer Sucks”

  1. Dashingprince Says:

    At least in football we don’t top the game every 5 minutes for an advert.

    Football has integrity unlike the made for TV steroid sports yanks and only yanks play.

    Yanks are only good at sports only they play, yellow.

    Yanks suck at football, football is great we love it.

  2. Steve Says:

    If you refer to soccer as football one more time, I’m gonna sail to England and punch you square in your mouth full of rotted teeth.

  3. James Says:

    Hey steve boy,

    “Sawker” is BY FAR superior to whatever less significant sport you follow. Its no wonder that its more watched, more richer and more developed than any other sport.

    And if you want to talk about something sucking, why not write about your mom’s weekly 5-dollar-blowjobs behind the local bathroom furnishings store?

  4. Steve Says:

    You sit for 4 hours and cheer rigorously for nothing. Literally nothing happens. Watching soccer has no more action that sitting alone in a dark room and staring blankly at a wall. Is it your fine European sophistication that refines your tastes to enjoy nothing? Because to Americans, it just makes you look retarded.

  5. Further Proof that Steve sucks Says:

    The fact that you think that a soccer game lasts “4 hours” shows that you know nothing about the sport, yet you still mindlessly bash it. And soccer has NON STOP action, in sharp contrast to baseball and gridiron. The average NFL game lasts 3 hours, and only 12 minutes of that time is ball-in-play action. That means that literally 95% of the game is nothing. Ditto for baseball. In soccer the ball and players are ALWAYS moving. Things are ALWAYS changing. That’s why its has several billion fans watching.

    What I really don’t understand is why american fans of traditional american sports have such a vocal hatred of the sport? Does soccer somehow threaten you that you must try to tell others how it “sucks”? Its a sport, if you dont have a attachment to it, don’t watch it. But why bash it?

    * Off to bar to watch euro 2008 *

  6. Steve Says:

    Let me sum up what you call none stop action:

    “Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball. Spain has the ball. Italy has the ball.”

    And at the end, you’re lucky if one team managed to score. What’s there to cheer for in soccer since no one ever scores? Do you cheer for turnovers? That would seem stupid since one happens on every single play? Do you cheer for passes when you know there’s a 99.99999999% chance that it’s gonna result in nothing?

    Soccer is a third world game. It’s watched by billions because it’s popular in poverty stricken countries through South America and Africa. And it’s only popular in Europe because it’s an excuse to get drunk and riot.

    Why don’t you Euro trash go back to what you’re good at: surrendering, non-working and labeling those who are more successful than you as “un-cultured.”

  7. SSReporters Says:

    I’m an American, and frankly I find this post to be extremely pointless.

    You want to come to my home and punch me now?

    FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL. What part of it don’t you get? You use your foot to kick the ball. Or is that too logical.

    And at the end, you’re lucky if one team managed to score. What’s there to cheer for in soccer since no one ever scores? Do you cheer for turnovers? That would seem stupid since one happens on every single play? Do you cheer for passes when you know there’s a 99.99999999% chance that it’s gonna result in nothing?

    What are you watching? That’s right, you’ve never watched a game fully.

    Look, I am a huge NFL and NBA and college sports fan, but if you think all games end 0-0 you have to turn off ESPN and watch a match live.

    Do big numbers turn you on? Because if a goal counted for 6 points this country would be football crazy. A 3-2 game would turn into 18-12 and that’s just great.

    Soccer is a third world game. It’s watched by billions because it’s popular in poverty stricken countries through South America and Africa. And it’s only popular in Europe because it’s an excuse to get drunk and riot.

    Wow, every country in the world plays football, even the USA, so what does that say to you? That’s just a xenophobic and ignorant post. Look, Cricket, a game invented in England in which there is NO rioting, is more popular than supposed “American sports” in most countries.

    Go on, I’d love to hear your incredibly stupid rebuttal. Go on.

  8. Bob Says:

    If you don’t enjoy watching soccer, don’t watch it. Many people don’t enjoy many different sports, and they solve that problem by not watching. You should try the same. I think your knee-jerk bashing comes from a place of dislike for “euro trash”…

    Also I doubt that Manchester united is short on money. They are the most valuable sport team in the world at 1.8 billion USD, and that was their valuation before the US dollar started tanking. AIG is just one of their many sponsors, I think that getting barclays or mercedes benz on their jersey would look better than AIG.

  9. Steve Says:

    Why don’t all you soccer fucks just die?

  10. Mookie Says:

    We won’t die because it’s more fun to annoy baseball hacks like you.

  11. SB Says:

    Who said anything about baseball? I love football. Real football.

  12. Mookie Says:

    You mean the game where you use your foot to kick the ball into a net? INCONCEIVABLE!

  13. SB Says:

    No, I mean the full contact game played by real men and shunned by the uneducated masses of Europe.

  14. Mookie Says:

    Really?

    You see, in baseball, you have bases.

    In basketball, you have baskets.

    In volleyball, you volley the ball back and forth.

    In American football, only the kicker and punter use their feet to kick the ball, you know…..football?

    In real football, it’s 22 guys using their heads and more importantly their feet to kick the ball into a net.

    Simple logic seems to evade you….and that’s coming from an American.

  15. Steve Says:

    In real football, feet are responsible for far more points than they are in soccer. Soccer isn’t 22 guys using their heads and feet to kick a ball into a net. It’s 22 guys running around doing nothing. If the ball happens to find the net once a game, you’ve got a high-scoring affair on your hands. Whoopeee!!!!

    But I’m guessing that your anger comes more from the fact that your game is shunned in the most athletically-focused country on Earth. Americans hate your game. Period. And since we’re better than everyone at everything, that speaks volumes about your worthless game. But take solice in the fact that it’s hugely popular in Iran, Mexico, Peru, Ethopia and Bosnia. Those are some real bragging points for ya!

  16. SSReporters Says:

    I guarantee you haven’t watched one soccer game.

    Every country, including the US, plays soccer.

    You’re right, we’re better than everyone at everything, just ask the US Olympic Basketball Team of 2004, and the Baseball team in 2006, and the Soccer teams in any given year, and the Olympic hockey team.

    I think you say unbearably stupid and ignorant things to get an angry reaction so I won’t go down that path.

  17. Steve Says:

    Just because a few kids who aren’t athletic enough to play football resort to soccer doesn’t mean that Americans have embraced it. When I lived in Kansas City, they would give away free tickets to the KC Wizards (MLS) games everytime you checked out at the grocery store. They were practically begging people to take those fuckin’ tickets. Let me know when you find a place where that’s happening with NFL tickets.

  18. SSReporters Says:

    American soccer….how do I put this?

    SUCKS!

    You see soccer played in America, not the masters in Europe.

    Watch this, it has a lot of goals.

  19. Steve Says:

    Well, I live in America and couldn’t give a shit less what matters in Europe. What I do care about is that American high-profile, billion-dollar sports leagues don’t make their athletes cover their jerseys in generic corporate logos. Imagine the Cowboys with the McDonald’s arches on the front of their jerseys instead of numbers. Or the Yankees with the words “Wal-Mart” scrawled across the pinstripes. That what your so-called premier leagues of Europe do. To me, their teams and their fans are nothing more than European Nascar.

    Suck it.

  20. Mookie Says:

    Because for the most part American sports leagues advertise up the yin-yang compared to soccer which seems to attract quite the global audience.

    You’ve made a string of xenophobic comments based on a stupid logo, are you John Rocker?

  21. Nymphadora Says:

    atleast football isnt a stupid sport where we stop every three seconds because someone hit the ground and then everyone stands around with their hands in their pants

    footballs a mans sport and is also the must watched in the entire world, and you still ruin it by calling your stupid wussy rugby game football even though you only use your foot 20% of the time, and if you disagree that football isnt a mans sport than i how about i come to your house and jamp my foot into your leg
    im sick of this bollocks! piss off everyone

  22. Steve Says:

    Your inferiority complex couldn’t be any more apparent. Same for your lack of education.

  23. James Says:

    “Why don’t all you soccer fucks just die?”

    95% of the planet’s population would die if we “soccer fucks” died.

    Also I love how mad soccer makes you…why are you so threatened by a sport? Does soccer in some way devalue or lessen whatever american sport you grew up with? Why the hate?

  24. Mookie Says:

    @ James, that is what he wants. ;-)

  25. Steve Says:

    And it’d be a better world for it.

  26. Mookie Says:

    Steve, did a soccer ball just smash you in the face and scar you for life? Did it wreck your world?

    BTW, even the countries that don’t play soccer that much (Australia, New Zealand, etc.) don’t play American football, they play something called rugby, the game that spawned American football…..only there are no pads, and you get smashed a lot.

    You should look into it..

  27. Lance Says:

    From what I can tell, the main argument in favor of soccer-football over “American sports” is that more people in the world play and watch soccer-football. While true, (a) the reason more people watch it is not because of the sport’s quality, it is due to historical and socio-economic factors, and (b) soccer being the most popular sport is ending very soon… 20 years tops.

    Soccer has been around at least 30 years longer than any “American sports” and it was developed and popularized in the 19th century by the imperialist British empire. They spread the game to all the countries that had been part of ther empire. Only in the last 25 years have most of the countries in the world even been exposed to American sports.

    Basketball is now a fully global game. It is already the most popular sport in China (1.3 billion people) with over 300 million playing the game. There are well funded international leagues in Europe and North American as well as developing leagues in South America. There are also star players from every continent except antarctica in the sport. What will be the argument when soccer is no longer more popular than basketball?

  28. Steve Says:

    Lance, you are a Godsend. A voice of reason amongst all the crazies that have been commenting on this post. Keep the comments coming, buddy.

  29. Josh Says:

    “soccer being the most popular sport is ending very soon… 20 years tops.”

    you can’t possibly be serious…but keep wishing one day all american sports combined might be half as big as soccer :) Keep in mind that the 10 most watched TV telecasts of all time are all soccer. The top 20 most watched? Also soccer. The grouping draw for the World Cup (ie. pulling balls out of a spinning drum to determine world cup groupings) gets three times the viewers that the Superbowl does. Soccer’s pregame show is 3 times bigger than the biggest american sport GAME.

    “Only in last 25 years have most of the countries in the world even been exposed to American sports.”

    lmfao!

    Basketball has been in the olympics for over 75 years and is nowhere near the level of soccer. Ask David Stern. Better yet ask Kobe and his fanboyism of Ronaldinho.

    NFL has been pushing the sport in Europe for 50 years NFL Europe just folded. No one cares, and they never will. Too boring.

    Baseball has been played in Asia and South America for many decades is getting kicked out of the olympics. Too boring.

  30. Steve Says:

    I can’t believe my eyes. Someone is using the phrase “too boring” in regards to basketball, football and baseball while at the same time defending soccer. Soccer is the definition of boring. And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but Europe sucks. Africa sucks. Third-world Asia sucks. Who the fuck cares what’s popular there? So people who live in mud huts and kill wildlife with spears like soccer. I guess I must really be missing out.

  31. Lance Says:

    Actually, the most watched sporting event of all time is likely to be the US versus China basketball game at this year’s Olympics now. The most watched events are soccer because soccer HAS BEEN the most popular sport and has a legit world championship competition to televise (world cup). I’m just telling you, in 20 years basketball will be the most popular sport in the world rivaling soccer in South America and Europe and MUCH more popular in Asia and North America.

    Basketball is just a better game by every standard and eventually the market will show that. I honestly doubt American Football and baseball catch on like basketball. Baseball/cricket is even slower than soccer and violent sports like football/rugby have a tough time getting young people into them in societies they aren’t endemic to.

  32. Lance Says:

    Here you go, soccer:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lZDSud6HIs

    International players have been bringing this faking injuries, ref pandering, soccer mentality into basketball but the NBA is already taking steps to combat it before it takes root.

  33. SSReporters Says:

    You know what? You’re right.

    Let’s blow up the rest of the Earth and just rename the world the United States!

    I agree with Lance however, basketball is up next.

    Baseball is the definition of boring…….talk about standing around and doing nothing a good chunk of the time.

  34. Steve Says:

    You know what else is popular in the rest of the world, SSReporters? Socialism. Communism. Genocide. Maybe we should give those things a chance too because the rest of world likes them.

    Now go fuck yourself.

  35. Mookie Says:

    What world?

    WE ARE THE WORLD!!! USA! USA! USA!

  36. to lance Says:

    basketball is NOT the most popular sport in china, the most popular spectator sport in china is soccer/football and the most participated sport is Ping-pong, but basketball can become the most popular sport in china.

    And the viewer for china vs basketball, the last thing i heard was that they predicted that i would be over 1billion, but the nfl also predicted that the viewer for the superbowl would be over 1billion and after the game the viewer were only 97 million so.. :/ , and if it really is over 1billion viewer that saw the match between china vs usa, the final of world cup between france vs italy was aslo watched over 1billion so it’s not the most watched sporting event .

    ps… the only time china really care’s about basketball is when yao ming plays or the national team, beside’s that the majority of the population of china don’t give a fuck about the sport

  37. Soccer sucks Says:

    Soccer = “Socialism. Communism. Genocide”.

    Real sports are: Football, Nascar and Baseball. Our sports, not their pseudo euro sissy fake homo feminized non-sports. Soccer sucks.

  38. Josh Says:

    @Lance: You must have a very lose definition of the word “likely”. The official combined US-China viewership for the US-China olympic basketball game was 100 million. According to AGB Nielsen Media Research, a television-tracking company, about 89 million people in China watched at least part of the game, the average audience was 37 million. I highly doubt that 900 million people outside china and the US cared enough to watch the game. If you have some proof to show me otherwise, please do so.

    Read about it: http://blogs.wsj.com/numbersguy/about-that-basketball-audience-of-a-billion-393/

    Like I have said, it is a fact that soccer is BY FAR the most watched. Basketball doesn’t come even remotely close. That’s not a slight to basketball, in the unlikely event that another sport takes over soccer as the worlds obsession, I hope its either basketball or rugby.

  39. The World Says:

    Steve, you have got it all wrong.

    You see, we didn’t choose football over american sports because it is according to you our like for something boring. It’s because we simply don’t give a shit about your sports.

  40. Rabbani Says:

    Soccer is the best game in the world. Everyone and even you knoe that .You just want to gain popularity by abusing something great and nothing else. and what are u trying to prove your english language skills by teaching the correct name of ’soccer’. I think your life is loads of problem and u have become a nerd .When the whole world agrees that soccer is the best game u try to yap around with your cheap theory .Just have a good sleep visit a psychologist then i think everything will be fine .

  41. Mookie Says:

    Any proof of Soccer causing socialism and communism and what not?

  42. Steve Says:

    Jesus Christ, will you let this thread die already?

    Soccer fucking sucks. Always has. Always will.

  43. Geralt Says:

    Soccer sucks so much that it dominates all other sports in viewership. Owww, doesn’t that get you even more threatened? You should tell us soccer fucking sucks again. That will remove soccer of its current place as the most respected sport of all time. Owww…doesn’t that get you even more against soccer?

  44. nathan Says:

    okay all you sons of bitches need to shut the fuck up. every sport is good. every sport has its excitement point. think about it why do you guys have to argue over this shit. if you truly want to call your self a sports fan , then you would love all sports???? right. and think about it . every sport requires its own type of skills………… you know what lets just put it like this fuck whoever says any sport sucks . your just pissy ass cause your not a all around athlete and can play multiple sports. i think im better than all of you old shits at everything . i would single handingling rape all you guys in every sport there is.

  45. Rabbani Says:

    yo philosopher.one man comments rubbish so we all reply to him to make him understand.no one says other games suck but soccer is the best game and if you are that capable then y is it that i dont see u play in any sports.playing the sport is different and relishing the joy of viewing and supporting your favorite team is different that is why there is a different group called fan club etc

  46. Cameron Says:

    Football: The Most beautiful game is probably the most economical game to pursue, requiring only a ball to kick around. The game can be picked up by rich as well as poor, only the quality of the ball may differ but never the quality of the game. The game is followed passionately by more than 100 countries, is the most popular sport in 204 countries, and a top 5 sport in every country such as NZ, Aus, Canada, United States.They include China, Korea, South East Asia, all of the Middle East, Central Asia, all of Europe, South America, Africa most of the carribeans, Most of Central America except (Nicaragua and Panama)Mexico and most of the Pacific Islands like the Solomon Islands and French Polynesia. England is the financial hub of football and rightly so as the inventor of the game. The football World Cup is the largest sporting event in the world, drawing as many as a billion viewers for the finals alone.

  47. Cameron Says:

    Countries where football, soccer is the number 1 sport.

    AFRICA (FOOTBALL) 58 countries where its no 1

    1. Nigeria
    2. Egypt
    3. Ethiopia
    4. Democratic Republic of Congo
    5. South Africa
    6. Sudan
    7. Tanzania
    8. Kenya
    9. Morocco
    10. Algeria
    11. Uganda
    12. Ghana
    13. Mozambique
    14. Madagascar
    15. Cote d’Ivoire
    16. Cameroon
    17. Burkina Faso
    18. Malawi
    19. Niger
    20. Zimbabwe
    21. Angola
    22. Senegal
    23. Mali
    24. Zambia
    25. Tunisia
    26. Chad
    27. Guinea
    28. Somalia
    29. Rwanda
    30. Burundi
    31. Benin
    32. Sierra Leone
    33. Libya
    34. Togo
    35. Eritrea
    36. Republic of the Congo
    37. Central African Republic
    38. Mauritania
    39. Liberia
    40. Namibia
    41. Lesotho
    42. The Gambia
    43. Botswana
    44. Guinea- Bissau
    45. Gabon
    46. Mauritius
    47. Swaziland
    48. Reunion
    49. Comoros
    50. Equatorial Guinea
    51. Djibouti
    52. Cape Verde
    53. Western Sahara
    54. Mayotte
    55. Sao Tome and Principe
    56. Seychelles
    57. Saint Helena
    58. Ascension Island

    Asia (41 countries where its no 1)

    1. China
    2. Indonesia
    3. Vietnam
    4. Iran
    5. Thailand
    6. South Korea
    7. Burma
    8. Afghanistan
    9. Nepal
    10. Uzbekistan
    11. Saudi Arabia
    12. Iraq
    13. Malaysia
    14. North Korea
    15. Yemen
    16. Syria
    17. Kazakhstan
    18. Cambodia
    19. Azerbaijan
    20. Tajikistan
    21. Hong Kong
    22. Laos
    23. Israel
    24. Jordan
    25. Kyrgyzstan
    26. Turkmenistan
    27. Singapore
    28. Lebanon
    29. Oman
    30. Armenia
    31. United Arab Emirates
    32. West Bank
    33. Kuwait
    34. Gaza Strip
    35. East Timor
    36. Qatar
    37. Bahrain
    38. Macau
    39. Brunei
    40. Maldives
    41. British Indian Ocean Territory

    Europe- 52 nations

    1. Russia
    2. Germany
    3. Turkey
    4. France
    5. England
    6. Scotland
    7. Northern Ireland
    8. Italy
    9. Ukraine
    10. Spain
    11. Poland
    12. Romania
    13. Netherlands
    14. Greece
    15. Portugal
    16. Belgium
    17. Belarus
    18. Czech Republic
    19. Hungary
    20. Serbia
    21. Sweden
    22. Austria
    23. Switzerland
    24. Bulgaria
    25. Denmark
    26. Slovakia
    27. Georgia
    28. Norway
    29. Bosnia and Herzegovina
    30. Croatia
    31. Moldova
    32. Albania
    33. Macedonia
    34. Slovenia
    35. Cyprus
    36. Montenegro
    37. Kosovo
    38. Luxembourg
    39. Malta
    40. Iceland
    41. Jersey
    42. Isle of Man
    43. Andorra
    44. Guernsey
    45. Greenland
    46. Faroe Islands
    47. Liechtenstein
    48. Monaco
    49. San Marino
    50. Gibraltar
    51. Holy See (Vatican City)
    52. Northern Cyprus

    North America- 24

    1. Mexico
    2. Guatemala
    3. Haiti
    4. Honduras
    5. El Salvador
    6. Costa Rica
    7. Jamaica
    8. Guadeloupe
    9. Martinique
    10. Belize
    11. Netherlands Antilles
    12. Saint Lucia
    13. Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
    14. Virgin Islands
    15. Grenada
    16. Aruba
    17. Dominica
    18. Cayman Islands
    19. British Virgin Islands
    20. Turks and Caicos Islands
    21. Anguilla
    22. Montserrat
    23. Saint Pierre and Miquelon
    24. St Martin (France)

    Oceania-11

    1. Solomon Islands
    2. French Polynesia
    3. New Caledonia
    4. Vanuatu
    5. Guam
    6. Kiribati
    7. Palau
    8. Wallis and Futuna
    9. Christmas Island
    10. Cocos Islands
    11. Easter Island

    South America-12

    1. Brazil
    2. Colombia
    3. Argentina
    4. Peru
    5. Chile
    6. Ecuador
    7. Bolivia
    8. Paraguay
    9. Uruguay
    10. Suriname
    11. French Guiana
    12. Falkland Islands

    Out of 245 nations, football/ soccer is the favourite sport of 198 countries. Proof

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Football_world_popularity.png

  48. Cameron Says:

    Only 47 out of 245 countries where soccer is not the most popular sport. List of nations with its most popular sport

    Australia- cricket
    New Zealand- rugby union
    PNG- Rugby League
    Cook Islands- Rugby Union
    Niue- Rugby Union
    Northern Mariana Islands- Basketball & baseball
    Fiji- Rugby Union
    Tonga- Rugby Union
    Samoa- Rugby Union
    Marshall Islands- Basketball
    Nauru- Australian Rules Football
    Norfolk Islands- Rugby Leauge
    Tokelau- Rugby Union
    American Samoa- American Football
    Canada- Ice Hockey
    USA- American Football
    Nicaragua- Baseball
    Panama- Baseball
    Antigua and Barbuda- cricket
    Barbados- cricket
    Cuba- baseball
    Trinidad and Tobago- cricket
    Dominican Republic- baseball
    Puerto Rico- basketball
    The Bahamas- basketball
    Bermuda- cricket
    US Virgin Islands- baseball & basketball
    St Kitts and Nevis- cricket
    Venezuela- baseball
    Guyana- cricket
    Ireland Republic- Gaelic Football
    Wales- rugby union
    Finland- ice hockey
    Lithuania- basketball
    Latvia- basketball
    Estonia- ice hockey
    India- cricket
    Pakistan- cricket
    Sri Lanka- cricket
    Bangladesh- cricket
    The Philippines- basketball
    Japan- baseball
    Taiwan- baseball
    Bhutan- archery
    Mongolia- wrestling
    Federated States of Micronesia- rugby union
    Tuvalu- rugby

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Football_world_popularity.png
    Football world popularity.png

    Map showing the popularity of football around the world. Countries where football is the most popular sport are coloured green, while countries where it is not are coloured red. The various shades of green and red indicate the number of players per 1,000 inhabitants.China is striped since football is equally as popular as basketball.

  49. Steve Says:

    Only country that matters in that whole list: the United States of America. We play real sports here. The rest of you third-world effeminate illiterates can have your cross-country kickball.

  50. Cameron Says:

    Third world Effeminate illiterate nations??? I dont think most of Europe wouldnt be to impressed about that

  51. Cameron Says:

    Third world Effeminate illiterate nations??? I think most of Europe wouldnt be to impressed about that

  52. @ Steve Says:

    Steve, soccer is already popular in the USA. Most people just don’t realize it because they’re wrapped up in College Basketball, the NFL Draft, slam dunks, and Budweiser commercials.

    Football has twice the participants in the USA as gridiron and baseball (24 million Americans play football compared to 10 million for baseball) Americans are just not good at football.

    Americans only watch sports they are good at. They struggle at football and find it too complex.

    Americans are used to pick up and play sports, anyone can play gridiron all you learn in one position and of course a good steroid dealers phone number.

    Football takes years of practice and you have to take on the worlds best athletes, this strikes fear into American jocks who like everything simple and basic.

    Football has more scoring per minute of action than gridiron they just give 6 points for a score in gridiron.

    This article should be called ” why do americas top athletes struggle at football” or “why do american sports fans have an inferiority complex towards football”..

    Either way football is huge worldwide its the national pastime of China a country with zero interest in “steroids sports” like gridiron and baseball.

    We will keep watching football and ignoring gridiron and other “minority sports”.

  53. Steve Says:

    Inferiority complex? Jesus Christ, you need to look in the mirror. You’re the one who keeps throwing out all these stats about how the rest of the world loves soccer, but you’re hyper-defensive about one simple claim I made. And it’s the fact that soccer is irrelevant to Americans and you know that no matter how big it is in the rest of the world, it’s not validated as a sport until you have the approval of the USA. It’s you, sir, who has the inferiority complex. If not, you would have let this thing die a long, long time ago.

  54. Mat Fawcett Says:

    Steve – the fact that you are even putting this topic out here to comment on means that you are thinking about the sport – positive or negative as it might be, you’re still talking about it and that is exciting for us soccer fans.

    Soccer is gaining popularity here in the states with hundreds of thousands of parents getting their kids involved at an early age. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned in all these comments is that the youth that grow-up playing soccer from 4-15 years old have to make a decision when they get to high school because it’s so much harder to continue to play soccer in college due to the Title 9 regulations.

    Title 9 forces boys/men into making the choice to focus on other sports because they know that playing college soccer is much harder than going out for the football team and easily taking the starting kicking/PAT spot. These regulations need work and thankfully there are very smart and soccer-enthusiastic people working on this as we speak…once this changes, you’ll see more and more talent coming out of the US and “local hero’s” born.

    Some of you touched on this, but the experience is so important when speaking about a spectator sport. Clearly, you’ve not been able to attend an EPL match overseas or in one of the hundreds of countries who live and die by this game. Here in the US, we haven’t been able to replicate this atmosphere of 75K-100K screaming fans, that will change and the global influence of this game will become more and more previlant here in the States.

    The MLS is growing, adding more and more teams every year and ownership groups spending millions on soccer-specific stadiums. ESPN is spending more and more money to broadcast games and the cost of an MLS team now sits close to $40 million dollars just to get a team…you can’t tell me this isn’t growth.
    On the topic of why soccer isn’t popular in the states…it is lack of education, exposure and ignorance (not to anyone’s fault) of the general public here in the US. While your statistics are spot-on with the 1869 reference, that was the first soccer match that was played in the US using FA rules, while a version of soccer has been around for thousands of years and today’s version of American Football derived off the sport of soccer.

    Steve – thanks for writing about our sport, the billions of fans all over the world thank you.

  55. equus Says:

    America has embraced soccer. The NY Cosmos teams in the 70’s and early 80’s with Pele, Chinaglia and Beckenbauer had consistent 60-70K crowds at Giants Stadium.When big clubs from other countries play in the US, they get big crowds to come see them. The 1994 World Cup held here is still the most successful World Cup ever.The recent Euro 2008 tournament was deemed a ratings success by ESPN.What US fans won’t watch is substandard soccer. MLS is a young but developing league in soccer terms and due to the very low salary cap, the quality is not up to the standards people expect. Until the financials make it work to bring in more quality and famous players, the majority of Americans won’t bother.I would think that soccer is perfect for short attention spans: Every game only lasts about two hours (you can watch four or five games a day easily and still get your errands run), and thankfully you aren’t inundated with countless commercials every 5 minutes like in other sports.

  56. Ten10 Says:

    I always wondered where the anti-soccer sentiment in americans like steve comes from. Why do they get so threatened that soccer is not only the most important sport on the planet but is becoming bigger and bigger in america?. Why do they feel this gut level hate of not only what the rest of the planet loves, but a condescending “it’s not validated as a sport until you have the approval of the USA” bigoted attitude? Why such strong negative feelings towards sports which aren’t traditionally american?

  57. Ten10 Says:

    Actually this book may explain the exceptionalism:

    http://www.amazon.com/Offside-American-Exceptionalism-Andrei-Markovits/dp/069107447X

  58. Steve Says:

    It’s because you love of soccer is further proof of your total idiocy. If you can watch that crap and claim to be entertained, you might as well watch grass grow or paint dry. Men running around in circles while accomplishing nothing for two hours is not a sport.

  59. Ken Says:

    #1 most watched sport on the planet.

    #1 most discussed sport on the planet.

    #1 most important sports on the planet.

    “soccer” entertains more people than any others sport to have ever existed.

    Universally considered the most entertaining, exciting, athletic, skilled and greatest sport on the planet.

    There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING any yank can ever do or say to change these facts. “soccer” will forever entertain more people than american sports and will always be 10X more watched, more respected and more important.

  60. Dominic Patterson Says:

    My God, this is childish. Whether Steve just throws out these comments to wind people up or whether he really is a retarded ‘Americans are God’s chosen people and the rest of the fags/ blacks/ browns/ gooks in the world can go to hell’ bigoted simpleton is completely immaterial. Rather like this thread. Like what you wanna like. Watch what you wanna watch. Don’t give a toss about anything else. Seriously. Grow up, all of you.

  61. Even More Proof That Soccer Sucks « Homers On The Range Says:

    [...] More Proof That Soccer Sucks About a year ago, I posted about the absurdity of professional soccer and the toothless Euro/Mexican/Unic brigade came out in force to call me a moron. Hell, these [...]

  62. Steve Says:

    Hey queers,

    Here’s more fodder for your inferiority complexes.

    http://homersontherange.com/2009/05/28/even-more-proof-that-soccer-sucks/

  63. Aniruddh Says:

    Youall forget what Americans reslly are they are just money chasing bastards from Europe and the third world nations who couldn’t cut the bill in their homeland.
    As for football it is still getting popular among countries in the Indian sub-continent,other parts of asia,etc. As for usa being the world ,Take a Hike, China will very soon become the biggest economy and then youall can kiss their asses

  64. Steve Says:

    You know what else is popular in the Indian sub-continent?

    Living in squalor, working for 45 cents an hour doing tech support for an American corporation, eating house pets and beating your 11-year-old wife.

    I can keep this up all day, Hadji.

  65. Aven Ace Says:

    My Arse!This article is bull shit

  66. David Says:

    How would you know? Are you an expert on bull shit or something?

  67. KASd Says:

    Steve, you are the master of perpetuating the negative stereotypes of Americans. Keep it up. One day, if you keep hating soccer it will go away. Billions will stop loving it and they will hate it as much as you do. You will win the War on Soccer. Go USA!

  68. Doubleplusgood Says:

    I used to think soccer was boring to watch when I was a kid. Because I didn’t understand the game. I thought it was just people chasing a ball around the field. It was because I was a child and lacked the cognitive ability or attention span to focus on the game.

    Now I admit that there are some boring soccer games (any game featuring the Italian national team). BUT most games are quite entertaining. Even with little scoring, the players are always performing great athletic feats, there are always new moves being invented. The strategy of each team is so intricate and interesting. You’re constantly trying to predict what the coach is going to do, what substitution he’s gonna make.

    The best aspect of it is that you get the game in nice 45 minute chunks. No interruptions. No annoying ads telling you what beer to drink or what nachos to eat.

    My point is there are many aspects to the game that make it interesting, not just scoring. Its incredibly strategic, there are so many factors at play. Formations etc… Even passes sometimes are incredible. When someone like Fabregas puts a ball through 3 players and finds Van Persie on the run and onside you have to take your hat off to him. (I’m not even an Arsenal fan)

    But I agree with a previous poster that to make it more appealing to Americans each goal should count for 6 points followed by a penalty shot for an extra point. A 7-0 score looks a lot better than 1-0 after all. Perception is everything.

  69. Steve Says:

    @ Doubleplusgood –

    Your response is so articulate and well-said that I’m actually considering becoming a soccer fan. Actually, I’m not, but I do appreciate your well-written comment. Stop by anytime.

  70. Doubleplusgood Says:

    I just wanted to try to explain why so many people like soccer.

    Its really a good sport but if you’ve never gotten into it then it might seem a little bit slow paced. Especially compared to something like basketball.

    We should just respect all sports since they are all represented by dedicated athletes who give their all to perform for their teams/countries/fans. Whether the sport is soccer, waterpolo, tennis or lacrosse. They all have their fans, their heroes and their dramas.

    I myself have sports I don’t understand, these include cricket, golf and baseball. However I don’t ridicule anyone for enjoying them, they just see something that I don’t.

  71. Doubleplusgood Says:

    I advise you to find a torrent and download yesterday’s match between the USA and the world #1 Spain.
    It was a good open match with lots of goal scoring chances.
    An example of a good soccer game. The USA team really impressed me.

  72. big pete Says:

    Imagine if Game 7 of the NBA Championship ended in a tie, and they decided the winners by shooting five free throws apiece. Imagine if the Superbowl ended in a tie, and they chose five players from each side to kick field goals to decide the winner. Imagine if the World Series ended in a tie, and they picked five pitchers aside to throw strikes, or five catchers to throw out base runners, or five batters to have a home run hitting contest.

    It would be preposterous and infantile. And oh yeah, unjust. But that’s how the rest of the world is – a little underdeveloped and full of injustice. And that’s how they like their games.

    America is based on a just and efficient meritocracy that thrives on measured competition. That’s why soccer has never really quite caught on here. They play a whole game and often the only score is a single goal awarded based on a flop in the penalty area. Americans would never stand for it. It reeks of random injustice and unearned glory.

    Could you imagine if they played a whole basketball game and no one was able to score and then based on one foul the other team got a free throw worth fifty points? That about sums up soccer.

    A culture gets the sport it deserves. While America runs and runs, the rest of the world takes its time and people’s lives often change with one critical stroke of luck. In America, we believe in second chances. There’s almost always hope that you can catch up in basketball and football. In soccer, you fall behind by two goals and you’re pretty much done.

    This is the point when a liberal would say that I am giving America too much credit and that I am being unfair to the rest of the world. And that both cultures are fine, it’s just two different systems that lead to two different games. For all those who don’t believe I’m a former conservative, let me help prove it – the American system is better.

    (Yes, I know these liberal and conservative labels are absurd, just roll with me here. Pretend you’re watching soccer and you’re not bothered by all the absurdities in the game.)

    It’s better to have hope that you can overcome long odds and steep deficits. It’s better to have games decided by merit rather than the award of an often-times random arbiter. It is better to be more efficient and be more assured that’ll you’ll be rewarded for your labors.

    How often have you seen a soccer game where one team completely outplays the other and the weaker side wins anyway based on a fluke goal? The answer is — all the time. I understand there’s luck and fluke plays in all sports, but they are not as critical when they are not the only score in the game.

    In soccer, one goal often determines who wins. In the rest of the world, one strike against you often determines your whole life. And that sucks.

    Yes, I know soccer is an art form and it has a different beauty. And actually I love the World Cup despite the fact that I think the players are unacceptably whiny actors and that the Artic ice cap is more likely to fall into the ocean than have an important soccer game with more than two goals. But despite my affinity for a game I actually grew up with (I was raised in Turkey and New Jersey, both soccer hubs), I can see its faults clearly. It might be the beautiful game but it is not the just game. To me, justice matters.

    Go ahead, tell me how I don’t understand and how I am an American brute. Just don’t fall down in fake, agonizing pain as you’re complaining.

    Credits and Clarifications – My friend, Steve Oh, who thinks soccer is much more of a bore than I do, came up with most of the analogies in the first paragraph. My friend and co-host, Ben Mankiewicz, came up with the fifty point free throw deciding the basketball game. I came up with the analogy of the games we play to our cultures. And I also realize that the current US government doesn’t help my “America is more just” argument, that’s one of the reasons I hate them. If Cheney continues in office for a couple of more years, who knows, maybe we’ll become a soccer nation after all.

  73. Baseball sucks Says:

    I love soccer/football im American …
    so fuck offf !!!!
    Leave Soccer ALONE

  74. Why Americans Hate Soccer « Homers On The Range Says:

    [...] Far and away, the most popular/controversial post I’ve ever written on Homers was this one about how much soccer sucks. I posted that item in May 2008 and people are still commenting on it. [...]

  75. anonymous Says:

    you all suck! In american football you wait for soooo long for anything to happen! They pause the game after 5 seconds of play? Whats the fun in that?
    In football, or soccer there is non stop action. Let me give you an example.
    Man U(AIG) has the ball. A suprise long distance shot from Rooney(in picture) rocks the post. Time is ticking Chelsea(samsung) take back the ball after a fingertip save
    This is why soccer is awesome

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