Addendum to Addendums to “Notes from the Softball Field”…

October 30, 2007

1. When you’re the home team and you go into the top of the last inning with a 5 run lead, you should never lose. Never.

2. Losing is bad enough. Losing when you have a big lead in the final inning is worse. Losing because there are a dozen f-ed routine defensive plays is sickening. I swear we can make the most common plays seem incredibly difficult. I’m ordering the Fred McGriff-endorsed Tom Emanski videos for us to watch before next season.

3. I have a knack for getting runners in front of me out. And I apologize to each of you for this.

4. Jerrod’s superstar play at short was awesome. Him running down the third base line giving the #1 sign after the play like Troy Aikman in Super Bowl XXVII was bad ass.


Addendums to “Notes from the Softball Field”…

October 30, 2007

1.  I will no longer think that “tweaking a hammy” is a wussy injury used for skipping practice.  I bet there’s a room in hell where all you do is run on a treadmill and continually “tweak a hammy”.

2.  Is it bad that I still find solice in making an above average play at short stop even though my team lost?

3.  Losing still sucks.  Is this what the Dolphins feel like?

4.  Is it too early to use the excuse…”We’re better than what our record indicates”…

5.  Throws from shortstop that hit you in the shin at first base have to hurt?  Sorry ’bout that Josh…

6.  I just realized that after my above average play at shortstop, I held up my index finger as if to say we were number one…when in reality I was just hoping a waitress would bring me a beer to drown the agony of defeat we were about to subject ourselves to!


Notes From the Softball Field

October 30, 2007

A couple of notes and lessons learned from last night’s softball game are below. Enjoy.

1. It feels good to be back on the field playing again instead of on the bench keeping stats - even if it was on just 1 1/2 good wheels.

2. The next time we are tied in the last inning and the other team’s home run hitter comes to the plate, we are WALKING him. No questions asked. That’s twice we’ve been burned in the late innings to lose the game.

3. Steve made an unbelievable catch in the outfield, Jerrod made a very Jeter-like play at short and I even had some good scoops and plays at first. It was a good first game back for all.

4. Jerrod’s game to injury ratio is getting higher and higher. Right now it’s 8 games and 4 injuries. Nice.

5. I hate losing to old guys. Bad.

6. When somebody falls running the base path for no reason, it’s really fun to yell, “SNIPER!” (Thanks to Tyndall for the idea)

7. We still have yet to hit a home run over the fence. But that doesn’t stop us from trying.

8. I might have to start wearing sliding pants because I’m REALLY tired of the strawberries and slide/dive wounds that take weeks to heal.

Steve, Jerrod… feel free to make updates to this list…


Miracle in Mississippi

October 29, 2007

You have to see this clip from the world of Division III football this past weekend. Trinity University (from San Antonio) used 15 laterals in the final seconds of the SCAC title game to beat Millsaps College in Jackson, Mississippi. The laterals are impressive, but what amazes me is how the players from Millsaps just stand around and watch the chaos unfold in front of them. Get in there and make a tackle, you retards!


Just to good not to post…

October 26, 2007

This is an actual mailbag dialogue on Bill Simmon’s latest column that I thought was too good just to leave on ESPN

Q: An interesting fact was revealed during the Vikings-Cowboys game: Did you know Tony Romo and Jason Witten room together for road games? This is the kind of information we need to know before fantasy football drafts!
–Brad C., Lynnfield, Mass.

SG: I just love the fact someone like Romo has to have a roommate on the road. Would there be a worse guy to room with than a good-looking, single, famous football quarterback? How many times this season do you think poor Witten has been sitting uncomfortably outside a hotel room that has a sock on the doorknob at 2 a.m.? I see his fantasy production dropping as the season goes along simply from lack of sleep and bad posture.


There should be more cross-facing in basketball

October 18, 2007

I meant to post this right after it happened a few days ago, but unfortunately it slipped my mind. Despite ejecting Chris Webber, Vlade Divac and Bobby Jackson from their roster, the Sacramento Kings are still punk ass bitches.

And though I won’t be able to fully get into basketball until Cowboys season is over, I love to see this kind of fire from the Mavs, even if it is just preseason. Howard will probably miss the season opener after introducing Brad Miller to Mr. Elbow, but it’s worth it if he can set the tone for this team early on. 


White Lightning

October 17, 2007

This kid is 8-years-old and according to some rumors, already has a silent commitment to USC. Screw USC! I’d let this kid suit up for my Iowa State Cyclones this Saturday!

Watch what he does to #32 at the 3:01 mark.

 


Vikings Better Get Their Rush On

October 17, 2007

So, let me get this straight? The Vikings are number one in the league in rushing offense? Granted, that’s mostly because of Adrian Peterson’s game where he ran like he was being chased by the cops in Southern Louisianna. They were number eight before that game. If they had any balance whatsoever then I would be very concerned for the Cowboy’s defense. “Does that mean you’re not worried about it?” You ask. Nope. Not even a little bit. And here’s why.

 The Minnesote Vikings pass offense is ranked 28th in the NFL. Tarvaris Jackson’s completion percentage is 49.4% - good for 33rd in the NFL. And last but not least, the Vikings don’t have a receiver among the top 50 in receiving yards this season. So, like I said before, if the Vikings had any balance in their offensive attack, I would be very concerned for the Dallas defense. But, given these numbers, I think the Boys put 8 (or 9) in the box and watch Jackson put the ball in the first row of seats when pressured by Ware, Spears, Ellis, and Canty. Or better yet, why don’t we place a bet on Jackson’s completion percentage to the Cowboys secondary vs. his completion percentage to the Vikings wideouts. I place my wager at 2 to 1.

All of this, is of course, betting on the fact that the po-po gave up the chase for Peterson and put the dogs back in their kennels. We’ll see how things go this Sunday afternoon from the cheap seats. I should also put in a disclaimer that every game I’ve gone to see at Texas Stadium the Cowboys have lost - dating back to their first round playoff whipping at the hands of the lowly Cardinals and Jake the Snake Plummer.

I can’t impact the game you say? Well maybe you didn’t notice, but I deleted my post regarding how badly the Boys were going to dismantle the Bills just moments before the Crayton touchdown and the onside kick recovery. Coincidence you say? We’ll just have to wait and see. But, if the Cowboys are behind going into the second half and you see a tan Tahoe peeling out of the Blue parking lot, get the hell outta the way… That will be me, trying to sway the minds of the football Gods into the Cowboys favor. Believe it.


Life is Good for Mr. Jones…

October 17, 2007

The arches we normally think about are known for “over a billion served”…well the arches being erected in Arlington will be synonomous with “over a billion spent”.  The first arch at Jerry World or the “To Be Named Later” Texas Stadium, was officially completed yesterday.  How good is it to be Jerry Jones today…

1.  The football team you own is 5-1, leading the NFC, and the sexy pick as the conference’s representative in the Super Bowl.

2.  Your billion dollar stadium is really taking shape and on schedule to be finished in the fall of ‘09.

3.  You’ve won the bid to host the 2011 Super Bowl

4.  You’ve managed to stretch the skin on your face tighter than a trampoline which is a feat in itself.

Well done Jerry…well done.

Jerry Jones


‘Boys v. Pats Review…

October 16, 2007

Ok, here’s my observations from Sunday’s game against the Pats…

1.  Tom Brady (when not under pressure) = Good.  Very Good.  Tom Brady (when facing pressure) = Not as good.  Problem is getting pressure on him. 

2.  I hate Tom Brady.

3.  When it’s 4th and goal and your down by 14 in the 4th quarter…go for it!  Bad call Coach Phillips. 

4.  The Cowboys yards per play was 6.4.  The Patriots yards per play was 6.0.  Difference was Patriots ran 75 plays to Dallas’ 44.

5.  We need Terry Glenn. 

6.  We need Anthony Henry.

7.  We don’t need Roy Williams…although he is still good for hurting the other teams’ players. (Sorry Ben Watson)

8.  I felt like Romo was trying to be “too” careful at some points because he didn’t want to have a Bills replay.  In the words of Naughty by Nature…”let it go, let yourself flow!”

9.  Penalties can kill good football teams and make them look bad.

10.  The Cowboys are still 5-1 and leading the NFC. 

11.  I hate Tom Brady!

Romo


RE: Al Gore is a Winner???

October 12, 2007

This award is a joke on so many levels, but I’ll try to keep this post relatively short by only pointing out a few. The Oslo, Norway-based committee who awards these prizes have turned a once proud award into a new method for sticking it to the Bush Administration.

al-gore-utility-2.gif

1. Can anyone tell me how protesting global warming promotes world peace? I know there are other Nobel Prizes for work in scientific and activist-related areas, so why wasn’t this considered there. Then again these are the same people who gave Yasar Arafat, one of the most notorious terrorists of the last century, a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994. Their view of peace must be slightly skewed.

2. While Al Gore may preach about the dangers of global warming and what the rest of human society has to do to prevent it from getting worse, he personally does more damage to the environment that 1000 average citizens. When Gore travels around the world to tell people about the evils of their energy-consuming ways, does he fly coach on a standard 747 like normal people? No. He charters private Gulf Stream jets, which in one hour can release more harmful carbon dioxide emissions than a normal car does in a year. And when Gore returns home from his jaunts around the world, does he retire to a cozy 1,000 square-foot efficiency apartment? No. He returns to a sprawling 25,000 square-foot mansion that uses more energy than 30 average households combined.

Like in most cases, the ultra-rich, politicized elite expect the rest of the world to conform to strict standards so that they can maintain a life of frivolous luxury. There’s not going to be a planet for Al Gore, George Clooney, Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon to jet set around if normal stiffs like you and me continue to commit such offenses as “driving to work” and “heating our homes.”

I’d like to be the first person to award the Nobel Hypocrisy Prize to you, Mr. Gore. Sit on it and spin you f-ing bastard.


Al Gore is a Winner???

October 12, 2007

Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize.  I wonder if he’s gonna put the trophy in the same little black box that he wanted to put the nation’s economy in during his presidential campaign.  What has this world come to?  Be afraid…

Gore


I’m Starting a Campaign…

October 12, 2007

I want the Mavs to trade for Kobe Bryant.  I know the baggage he brings with him…scandal in Colorado, the Shaq ordeal, 3 Championships, Best Pure Scorer in the NBA…you know, the usual.  The Mavs, in my humble opinion, need someone who’s gonna take losing personally.  Someone who wants the ball in his hands at the end of the game, down 2 with 5 seconds to play (say what you want, but that ’someone’ is not Dirk).  I realize you’d have to send Josh Howard and a combination of other players probably including Devin Harris…but to me, it’s worth it. 

Kobe is Mavtastic!

 


When is it ok?…

October 11, 2007

When is it ok to start feeling butterflies in your stomach in anticipation of a team that you don’t even play for?  I just had that feeling thinking about the Cowboys Patriots showdown this Sunday.  I’m so excited that I may need an IV before the game.  Can’t stop thinking about it.  Won’t start thinking about it.  I’m also starting to wonder what it’ll be like if they actually win!  Steve-O will go into cardiac arrest…Josh will hurt his other knee and break another remote control…as for me, I’m scared to think of it……….


You couldn’t pay me to attend an Ivy League school….

October 11, 2007

Another prime example of the hypocrisy running rampant in the ultra-liberal world of academia is featured in the New York Times today. 

Columbia University has come alive as the student body and the faculty are staging protests after a black professor discovered a noose hanging on her office door earlier this week.

Isn’t it nice to see Columbia University come alive in the face of racism? They’re gonna test that noose for DNA. WHAT! I guarantee you that they don’t search for DNA in 99 percent of the felonious crimes committed at Columbia.

I mean, this isn’t the same university who was so supportive of free-speech that they invited Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to speak on campus, is it? The man who most consider to be the next coming of Hitler? The man who openly encourages the complete destruction of Israel and the annihilation of the Jewish race?

I’ll keep that mind for the next time I’m speaking with a member of the American left-wing. Offensive pranks pulled in bad taste are cause for an uproar. Supporting a monster hell-bent on genocide is standing up for free speech.

How did priorities in this country get so warped?


Tom - Fed

October 9, 2007

Anyone ever notice the uncanny resemblance between Tom Brady and Kevin Federline?

tom-fed

k-brady

Watch out Tom…Life comes at you fast!


Greatest 24 seconds ever

October 9, 2007

I still get chills watching this…..

 


I can’t f—ing believe it!

October 9, 2007

My heart is racing, my adrenaline is pumping and I’m as happy as a 5-year-old on Christmas morning. I absolutely CANNOT believe that the Cowboys won this game!!!!

I have no game notes, no witty commentary, no smart ass remarks. This is the kind of game you win when it’s a special season. It’s very similar to the Arizona/Chicago game from last year, and we all know how Chicago fed off that win (making it to the Super Bowl).folkgw.jpg

Romo had the worst game a quarterback could possibly have and he STILL led the Cowboys to victory! Unbelievable!

My Proudest Moment of the Season (and maybe as a Cowboys fan): As Nick Folk drilled the game winning field goal, my wife (the hardest working person I’ve ever met, who wakes up at 5:30 am every morning to go to work) comes running out of the back room, jumping up and down, celebrating just as wildly as me. She stayed up all night throughout the game, because she was so engrossed in the game. She was ecstatic over the victory (even though she’s a Minnesota native) and is firmly inducted into the tradition of all true Americans who are Dallas Cowboy fans!

What a great freaking night! Maybe I’ll catch my breath now…..


Britney Spears Has a Sex Tape

October 4, 2007

C’mon, is anybody really suprised by this? Really? The best part is the guy who is releasing the video says, “It only lasted like 25 minutes before we passed out. It was pretty disappointing, actually…”

I’ve got just two words for this guy. Class Act.


Badger blasted…

October 2, 2007

And I don’t mean on Wild Turkey and Schlitz beer like everyone else in Madison.

Let’s enjoy this video clip of a Wisconsin Badger wide receiver getting completely annihilated by a Michigan State cornerback. That hit was harder than Mark Chmura at a junior high dance. He might want to put a call into Brett Favre’s pharmacist for a few bottles of Vicodin after that hit.